There Isn’t “No Way”, We Just Think There Is

Most times when we feel stress, worry, or fear, it’s in response to what we perceive to be as “unknown”. For instance, “How will this situation work out?” “Where will the money come from?” “When will my loved one stop acting like that?” (Feel free to add any you can relate too.) Then comes the next round of thoughts, like “It’s hopeless,” “They’ll never change,” “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” and the popular, “There is no way.” Focusing on what we think is “unknown” can keep us trapped in a cycle of stress, worry, and fear. Really, the problem isn’t with thinking those thoughts. The problem is if we believe them.

The unknown can seem pretty scary when we believe that there is no other way. The source of energy and intelligence behind life is God. If we believe in Him, then how can we believe in the “unknown” at the same time? Not only do those “there is no way” type of thoughts bring on stress, worry, and fear, they block us from receiving wisdom and guidance from God. It is like putting gunk in the pipeline, nothing can get through! But, when we let go of those thoughts, the block is cleared, and then ideas and options start coming in.

No More “Jokes”

Today is April Fools Day, the day when jokes and pranks abound! After hearing about some jokes my friends played today, I started thinking about the jokes we play everyday. The jokes we play on ourselves by the things we tell to and believe about ourselves. Things like “I can’t do it,” “I don’t have what it takes,” “I need more,” “I’m unworthy,” “Things won’t get better,” “It’s doomed,” and the like. We play these “jokes” and trick ourselves into believing what’s not true. That doesn’t serve us well! It’s time to stop it with the “jokes” and start living the truth:

“The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom.” ~ Deuteronomy 28:13

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~ Psalm 139:13-14

“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” ~ Luke 12:7

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” ~ 1 John 5:14, 15

I’m done with the “jokes”! Who’s with me?

Love & blessings,

Action Doesn’t Need Perfection

Have you ever felt a discomforting feeling in response to doing, or attempting to do, something different and unknown?  I have!  And, to be honest, I still do sometimes.  It’s not fun.  In fact, it can be a downright awful experience.  But, going through it, I’ve learned an important lesson:  waiting for the feeling of discomfort to go away or for things to be “perfect” before we act does not serve us well.  Action doesn’t need perfection.  If we decide to wait until we feel like doing something or for things to be perfect, we could be waiting for a long time.  What action are you not taking?  What are you waiting for?  For a feeling to go away, for someone else to change, for more money, for (fill in the blank)?  What action that you’re not taking do you need some support with?

With love,

The Power of Purposeful Love

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35 NIV)

The word love encompasses many feelings. I believe that the type of love Jesus refers to in John 13:34-35 is about compassion, empathy, and benevolent concern for the good of others. Purposeful love is a mindset of intentionally considering how one’s actions affect others. Purposeful love is about making intentional choices to ensure that our actions fulfill that description of compassion, empathy, and benevolent concern for the good of others. Jesus did just that. And, He commands us to do the same.

Sadly, the recent news is reporting that heroin use in the US is up and the search is on to find out why. When I heard that report my first answer to that quandary was that it’s because people are hurting and they want a way to end their pain quickly. What the world needs isn’t drugs. What the world needs is more Christians to show the love of Jesus so that people will know that even though they must go through pain sometimes, Jesus will help them get through.

Last month, my son came home from preschool singing a song he learned. Proudly he sang out, “Love is something if you give it away, give it away, give it away.” Yes, love is something if we give it away. Love is healing to someone, if we give it away. Love is peace for someone, if we give it away. Love is restoration for someone, if we give it away. Love is release from burdens for someone, if we give it away. Love is salvation for someone, if we give it away. Jesus, He’s love.

Giving: A Selfish-Freedom

When I think about the word give, the phrase that comes to my mind is “selfish-freedom.”  It’s a conflicting paradigm on the outset, to say the least.  I think it makes sense to predict that most people probably describe the opposite of giving as selfish.  I define selfish as being primarily concerned about one’s own pleasure and gain.  Is it the antithesis of a giving spirit?  Maybe it is, or maybe it is not.  It’s all in your perspective.

I believe that one of the side effects of giving is the freedom that comes from doing it.  There is freedom in giving.  Even when we don’t intend on it, giving takes our minds and our thoughts off of ourselves and allows us room to focus on others.  When we are manifesting a spirit of giving, we are freeing are minds from focusing on our own baggage – our tough times, our heartache, our trials and tribulations, our disappointments, and our lack.  Giving is not just a distraction ploy to take our focus off of what we may be going through so that we can feel better.  Giving helps us to be open and available to extend our resources to others because it takes our focus off of ourselves!  Then we are free to be more present to others.

Yes, I give to help others.  I give because my divine Creator calls me to.  I give because it’s important to me to make a difference in someone else’s life.  I give because I believe that what goes around comes around.  Therefore, I give because I have benefited from the generosity of others.  And, I give to free myself of myself.  I love what giving does for me.  That, by definition, may be selfish, but it’s one selfish need that I willingly fulfill.

Love & blessings,

Love YOU

Happy New Year everyone! We’re almost 3 weeks in to 2014. How is everything going for you? What would you like to create in your life? How would you like to design your life? What would you like to do? What are your options?

Those are a few of my favorite questions that I like to ask myself and my clients. I think it’s our natural inclination to not ask those powerful questions on our own. And, I think we should. Our lives are too precious and too important to not live them to the fullest and on purpose. And you can! Life is not just about what happens to us, but how we respond to it. I can’t say that enough! Change your perspective and you can change your life.

“I Love you.” How many times have you said that to someone else? How many times have you said it to yourself? Do it. LOVE YOURSELF! It’s ok to do. :) It’s not selfish. It’s not wrong! Show yourself some love today! Take care of you.

Need some support to live by design? Let me know. Send me a message or contact me through my website.

With love,

Grief and the Holidays

The holidays can be difficult when grieving.  It may be hard to try and celebrate after experiencing the loss of a loved one or a non-death type of loss (like the loss of a job, the loss of house, etc.).  Sometimes the holidays can lead to increased feelings of sadness, anxiety, dread, or guilt.  The journey of grief is not a straight line from Point A to Point B.  Experiencing grief is more like a circle.  Sometimes it can feel like feelings that may have been worked through have resurfaced.

Here are a few things that I like to share for dealing with grief and the holidays.  My hope is that if you are grieving during this holiday season, or if you share these with someone you know who is grieving, that they bring help and comfort.

- Don’t be afraid to communicate and share how you are feeling with others.

- Say no when you need to.  It is ok to say no to an invitation if you would rather not attend the event.  It’s important to listen to your heart.  Listen to and accept advice from others, but value your own needs and wants, and decide to do what’s right for you.

- Be open to change.  Maybe doing things the same way as you have done each holiday might not be as comfortable while grieving.  Changing holiday traditions can be helpful.  Also, starting a new tradition could give new meaning to your holiday, like lighting a candle in memory of your loved one or traveling to some place new.

- Lastly, be gentle with yourself.  Remember that experiencing grief and its associated feelings is completely normal.  Shower yourself with love, patience, kindness, and peace.

With love,

We Remember Them

My heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to those who are grieving. The holidays can be tough grief-wise. I’ll share some of my helpful tips in a future post, but for now I’d like to share one of my favorite poems. If you have experienced the loss of a loved one, my hope is that this comforts you.

We Remember Them
~ From Gates of Prayer – Reform Judaism Prayerbook

In the rising of the sun and its going down,
We Remember Them.

In the bowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
We Remember Them.

In the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring.
We Remember Them.

In the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer,
We Remember Them.

In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn.
We Remember Them.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We Remember Them.

When we are weary and in need of strength,
We Remember Them.

When we are lost and sick of heart,
We Remember Them.

When we have joys and special celebrations we yearn to share,
We Remember Them.

So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are part of us,
We Remember Them.

Love & Blessings,

Don’t Give Up Now!

I believe in being direct.  Sometimes there’s no point in sugarcoating things (as my grandma would say).  So, let’s face it, experiencing challenging times in our lives is unavoidable.  It really is.  But, we can control how we handle them!  The truth of the matter is that we can not always control what happens to us in life, but we can always control how we respond.

I was re-reading the story of Joseph’s journey in the book of Genesis.  I won’t go into all of the details, but in a nutshell, Joseph went from being thrown into a well and sold away by his jealous brothers to being appointed to govern Egypt by Pharaoh.  It wasn’t an easy journey for him.  He endured being lied upon, imprisoned, and forgotten.  But, through it all he didn’t give up.  At least, I haven’t seen any record of that in the Scriptures.  I don’t know about you, but being discarded by family (after they wanted to at first kill you), to being sexually harassed by your boss’ spouse, to losing your job and being put in jail, and to being forgotten there by someone who could have helped to get you out are major hardships and challenges to face.  That’s a tough journey, to say the least.

Our situations may not be the same as Joseph’s, but our experiences may be just as hard, difficult, and challenging for us.  And, just like Joseph, we can choose not to give up.  What if Joseph had given up in the well?  What if he took on a broken spirit and dwelled in a pity party of “Woe is me?”  He would have never made it to the throne!  What will you miss out on in your future if you give up now?

With love,
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Do You Need Help Dealing With Difficult People?

Troubling, Difficult People….

- You try to avoid them…
- You try to get rid of them…
- You even try to run from them…

… but they still keep coming into your life and sometimes it’s not all that easy to avoid being affected!

What you need is a tool kit!  Join us for:

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- Do difficult people stress you out?
- Do you find it difficult to “make them happy” or to end a difficult encounter?
- Do you replay difficult conversations in your head?
- Do upcoming meetings with difficult people keep you up at night?
- Would you like to know how to brush up your communication skills when dealing with difficult people?
- Would you like to leave a difficult person in better shape than when they found you?
- Do you freeze and think of things you “should have said” after a confrontation?
- You feel you know how to deal with difficult people but they leave you exhausted and cranky?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, THIS WORKSHOP IS FOR YOU! 

This group is FREE. You pay only for the long distance telephone charges, if they apply.

This course will meet November 5th, 12, and 19th at 8:00 PM EST.  Registration has begun. Please click on the REGISTER NOW link below to register and for more information about the course. You will receive detailed registration information, including the bridge line, by email after October 15th.  

 We look forward your questions and joining you in the group!!