I Was Too Scared to Ask For Help

There was a point in my life when I was too scared to ask for help. Shocker, right?

How could a life coach be afraid to ask for help? Well, it was before I realized my gift for coaching and made the transition into the profession. There was a time when I went through some things that made life seem more of a struggle than a joy; things that I found extremely difficult, hard, and challenging to deal with. Can you relate?

During those years I felt very sad, confused, and stuck in my situations. I wanted to feel better and feel happier, but I couldn’t find my way out of this heaviness. I felt weighed down. On top of it, I was too scared to ask for help because I was afraid of being judged. So, I suffered alone and tried to change myself, other people, and my situations to stop the struggle and find the happiness I desired. What I found out was that those changes did not make me any happier. I couldn’t change other people, no matter how hard I tried (ask my husband and children how well that went).

What I didn’t realize then was where happiness really comes from. I thought it came from external things. So, my identity was misplaced and wrapped up in my experiences, problems, behavior, etc. It was a misunderstanding that guided me for years until I was willing to get my own support, even though I was afraid. Fortunately, I found coaches who helped me understand our true nature and who we really are.

Our true nature, who we really are, is spiritual and not physical. We are not separate and apart from God. Therefore, who we are is not our behaviors, personalities, or problems. Our spiritual nature is the awareness that is behind every experience we have. Awareness is the only way that we experience anything. Our true self is whole and can not be harmed or broken. Once I really understood this, I felt happiness and peace as I never had before. The heaviness went away. It was misunderstanding our true nature that was causing me to suffer, not anything or anyone else.

Would you like to see how understanding your true nature can help you too? Send me an email to schedule your free Discovery Call.

Gratitude And Our True Nature

The Thanksgiving holiday is upon us here in the USA. As such, it’s a common time for intentional reflection on gratitude. This year, I’ve found myself wondering about how many people are questioning what they have to be grateful for.

With all that is going on in the world and in our individual lives, I think it makes perfect sense to question what there is to be grateful for. When we are looking at gratitude as the effect and what’s going on in our lives as the cause, then yes, it may seem like there is not a lot to be grateful for. If you find yourself relating to this, I would like to ask if you are willing to see this differently? 

There is a lot to be grateful for if we are open to seeing it.

Gratitude is a feeling. Like all feelings, gratitude, and the absence of it, has less to do with what is happening around us and more to do with the quality of our thinking (our state of mind) in the moment. Our feelings tell us about our thinking and nothing else. Why is it important to understand that? Because it helps us to remember our true nature, that we are connected to God and we’re not alone in this world living at the mercy of our situations, circumstances, or other people.

Past, Present, and Future

We can’t predict what’s going to happen in the future. 

We may think we know what’s going to happen in the near or far future, but we really don’t know. Thinking that we can predict the future trips us up a lot. At least I know it does me. I know deep in my heart that all we have is the present moment, the past is gone, the future is not here yet. But, I still forget and get overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, and worry.

I was reminded of this in a recent conversation with my friend George. I was sharing my concern with the success of an upcoming project because of all of the factors that I want to be met and how they haven’t been met before. He gently pointed out that I was trying to predict the future, based on the past, and that I didn’t know what would happen. Hearing that was the pin my thought bubble needed.

We can’t change what happened in the past. We can’t control the future. All we can do is choose how we live now. Stop letting your past, what you didn’t do for, what was done to you, or what you don’t have define your present or dictate your future.