Category Archives: General

Feelings Are Valid and Neutral

Have you ever felt an uncomfortable feeling in response to doing, or attempting to do, something different or unknown? I have! And, to be honest, I still do sometimes. It’s not always an enjoyable experience. In fact, it can feel awful. But, I’ve learned an important lesson about it: feeling uncomfortable about an action we took or waiting for the uncomfortable to go away before we take action is not necessary. Here’s why: the uncomfortable feeling is only telling us about our thoughts in the moment. The uncomfortable feeling is not telling us anything about what we have already done or about whether or not we should take action. Feelings are valid and neutral. Our feelings only mean what we THINK they mean. If we decide to wait until we feel like doing something, or until we feel comfortable, we could be waiting for a long time. And, where does that leave us? Feeling stuck! What action are you not taking and need some support with?

Love & blessings,

Bubbles

 

It’s a little chilly down here in south Florida today. I know it’s not cold like it is up north, but for us it’s colder than we’re used to. So, I got out my jacket this morning. As I was walking to a meeting I was reflecting over yesterday. I had a lot on my mind about what I could have said, what I could have done differently, and looking at where I thought I messed up. To be honest, I was feeling a little sad. And, then I felt something hard in my jacket pocket. I put my hand in and pulled out two small bottles of bubbles. Yes, bubbles! I must have agreed to hold them for my kids one day and didn’t give them back to them. Suddenly, I started laughing. One moment I’m feeling down in the dumps and then the next moment I’m feeling joy.

This moment was a perfect reminder to me of the fleeting nature of thought and what was really causing my feelings. It’s true, I probably could have done or said things differently yesterday. I probably did make some mistakes yesterday. But, those things were not causing me to feel sad. Thinking about them was creating my sad feeling. Then when I saw the bubbles, my thoughts changed and my feeling changed. It’s just how life works. Sometimes we see it, and sometimes we don’t. And, both are ok.

Love & blessings,

Don’t Be Afraid

This is from one of my favorite passages of scripture. The king of Aram was mad at Elisha and sent his troops to capture Elisha. He didn’t send just a few people after him, he sent troops! So, the next morning one of Elisha’s servants went outside and saw all of the troops around them, and he fearfully asked Elisha, “What will we do now?” And, this scripture is Elisha’s response.

Notice Elisha did not tell him not to feel afraid, he said “Don’t be afraid.” There is a difference between feeling and being. Just because we have a feeling, it doesn’t make us that feeling. Our feelings are just our responses to our thoughts in the moment. That’s all. Our feelings don’t tell us about who we are (our being) or about anything else. It just seems like they do. Think about this. In Genesis 1:31, God calls all he created good. We are His creation, so we are innately good. Now, if we have negative feelings about ourselves, does that mean that God’s word is void and that we are not good? No, it just means that we have had some negative thinking.

So, Elisha is reminding his servant not to believe his fear means anything about who he is and to look past the troops and see what is still true. We also have innate security. God’s got our backs all of the time! Not some of the time. All of the time, no matter what troops you are facing in your life! The only time it seems like it’s not true is if we are believing that what’s we’re facing is more powerful than God. What it comes down to is this: we are either believing God is with us or we’re not. So, what are you believing? Are you believing in your fears, or are you believing that God’s got your back?

Love & blessings,

 

Limiting Beliefs and the Power of Letting Them Go

Hello beautiful people!

A limiting belief is a thought that we become so attached to, we believe it as truth, we don’t see any other way of looking at it, and we think it’s who we are (we identify with it). The belief is limiting because then everything else that we do filters through that belief. “I can’t…” becomes a stop sign. “I am…” keeps us from trying. And, it goes on and on. Limiting beliefs can be so disguised that we totally miss them. Now, that I know that, I’ve been on the hunt for them in my life. If we are not intentional about noticing them, being aware of them, we will continue to stay stuck in them. Seeing our limiting beliefs is a first step for breaking free of them.

This week in my karate class I realized I didn’t have a clear mind when I was sparring. My mind was full of thoughts from being very hard on myself for not lifting my legs to block kicks and for using my hand to block instead. I just kept missing it kick after kick (and I have the bruises to prove it). This has been going on for months, since I first started sparring. Then I remembered to look for the limiting beliefs, and what did I see? “I can’t” and “I’m wrong”. They were wrecking my sparring flow!

I finally saw the gap between the beliefs and myself and that I didn’t have to believe them. Limiting beliefs are just thoughts, and thoughts have no meaning unless we give them meaning. I saw that I could change the meaning, so instead of seeing them as wrongs, they could be learning opportunities. I saw that I didn’t have to stay attached to those (or any) limiting beliefs. And, once I saw that, when I allowed myself to stop identifying myself, and my actions, as “can’t” and “wrong”, my head cleared up. I stopped thinking so much about sparring and what I was doing. Then I noticed that when my opponents tried to kick me, I was blocking with my leg. It just came more easily to me than it did before and a little more effortlessly. When our minds are clear, we’re more able to flow in our natural strengths and abilities. But, when our minds are cluttered with thoughts and limiting beliefs, our performance is hindered.
What limiting beliefs are holding you back? Would you like some support in letting go of them? If so, contact me and we’ll talk.

Love & blessings,

Fact vs. Fiction

 

I spent so much time struggling with frustration, anger, stress, and overwhelmed, but getting this insight has made a major difference in my life. If you are dealing with the same thing and want to learn more, contact me and we’ll talk.

What Do You Want Your Love Life To Be Like? (+ special offer!)

Hello everyone! February 14th is coming up soon, so I’m celebrating early by giving away 14 coaching sessions to women who want to improve their love lives (1 hour session per lady). For some, the thought of Valentine’s Day brings excitement and warmth. For others, it may be something to dread and void of any cozy feelings. What do you feel when you think of Valentine’s Day? Is it a day that you dread or a day that you want to be as special as possible? What do you want your love life to be like? I’m looking for 14 women who want to explore that question and make positive changes. No gimmicks or techniques that don’t last. No tips or to-do lists that produce no results. Scripture tells us that we can’t put new wine into old wineskins. So, this offer is for women who are ready to do the work they need to do on the old, so that they are ready to experience something new. The sessions will only be available until February 14, so reserve your spot now.

Love & blessings,

How Are You Doing So Far With Meeting Your Goals For 2017?

Hello everyone! Wow, we are halfway into January already! Stores have their Valentine’s Day decorations up already. Love is in the air! Maybe some posts on how to get the romantic relationship you want might be coming soon (send me any questions you have on finding love and relationships), but for now let’s look at your goals overall. I thought this would be a good time to check-in and see how you are doing with your goals/resolutions/intentions for 2017 so far. Are you were you want to be? What are your challenges so far?

If you didn’t set any goals, no worries. There’s no pressure or rule that says that you have to. There’s no “Goals Police” coming for you. But, in all seriousness, setting some goals can be very beneficial. I like to look at goal setting as just asking myself and answering the question:

“What do I want to achieve?”

Whether you have already set some goals or not, this might be a good time to reassess the goals you made or whether to set some or not. I love Benjamin Franklin’s quote: “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” So, another way to look at goal setting is as preparation. You have to start somewhere. Setting goals is like getting the game started (I love to use metaphors if you haven’t noticed already). Whatever it is that you want for your life, how are you going to get it? Setting goals helps to answer that question.

  • Are you afraid to take the first step or afraid that you won’t succeed in achieving your goals? These are normal feelings, and I have experienced them both. Here’s the thing: our feelings just give us feedback about our thoughts in the moment. That’s it. Our minds were created to think and our feelings are responses to our thoughts. Feelings are totally neutral until we give them meaning, and they can’t predict what’s going to happen in our future. Is it ok to feel what we feel? Yes! It’s normal and what we do as humans. Are our feelings useful? Yes, they absolutely are! Look at feeling afraid that you won’t succeed in meeting your goal – the feeling means nothing about you or even about how the goal will turn out for you. All that feeling means is that you are having some fearful thoughts about succeeding. That’s it. It’s like standing in the rain. You feel the rain, but you are not the rain just because you feel it.
  • How come you set the goals that you set? Many times we set goals because of what we think they will do for us, like making us a better person, making us happy, or bringing us more love. But, all of that is an inside job. If the goals we set are to fill in the blank in sentences like these: “I’ll be happy when _____,” “I’ll feel ok when _____,” or “I need _____ to feel successful,” then we’re setting goals based on a misunderstanding of where our experience comes from. How we experience life only works one way: from the inside out. That’s why nothing has the power to make us feel any way. Nothing can make you a better person because you already are wonderful (check out Genesis 1:27). Nothing can bring us more happiness, love, or wellbeing because that’s already within us, God-given at birth. If we’re ever not feeling them, we don’t need to go searching for them. The discovery is in seeing what attachment to thought is blocking them. For example: You’re not going to feel love and wellbeing if you believe thoughts of unworthiness. You’re not going to feel successful if you act on thoughts of failure. When our minds are clear and not clouded with the misunderstanding of where our experience is coming from, then we are more free and open to hear wisdom/intuition and be guided from there.

If anything I shared resonates with you, or if you would like some support meeting your goals, then contact me or schedule a coaching conversation.

Love & blessings,

Worthiness Is Just A Feeling


Ok, I still need a lot more practice with hand lettering. It hasn’t been that long since I started learning, and I truly believe that practice makes progress. My first thought was to not post this pic because I didn’t think it was worthy of showing. But, then I thought about how many times I shied away from something, spoke negatively about myself, or gave up on something because I felt like I wasn’t worthy enough. Can you relate too? But, what I know now is that the feeling of worthiness is just a response to my thought in the moment. That’s it! Our feelings are just feedback and responses to our thoughts. Nothing more and nothing less.

‪Worthiness is just a feeling & our feelings are just feedback on our thoughts.‬

Our feelings know nothing about who I am or what my future will be. It’s the same for you too! And, thoughts are just created because that’s what our minds do. We can choose to act on our thoughts (believe them) or let them pass. What would your life be like if you just let your thoughts pass through without attaching to them?
Love & blessings,

Your Life – Your Story


Your life is your story to create. We can’t control every situation we encounter in our lives, but how we experience them is an open book for us to write. There are no fixed/only one way experiences. Things are neutral until we give them meaning, our thoughts and feelings included. Our feelings come as responses to our thought in the moment. That’s all. Our feelings do not tell us anything about ourselves, our past, or our future. How could they?

Getting a deeper understanding of this has been one of the biggest blessings for me this year, especially as a wife and mother. Realizing that my feelings, though real and valid, are not fixed and are just stories my mind is creating in the moment was life changing. Our feelings only tell us about our thoughts in the moment. That’s the only way it works. That’s how things get meaning to us, through thought. I fall back into my thinking all the time, because as humans that’s what we do. But, I’m getting quicker at recognizing what’s going on, that I’m just feeling my thoughts in the moment. And, when I do it’s like an access point – freeing me from the noise of my thoughts so I can get a clearer mind and hear God’s wisdom. It’s helped me to be more present to my family, to connect more, to enjoy the present moment more, to judge myself and others less, to stop taking things personally, and enjoy life more. The stories I was telling myself, all the anger, whining, complaining, comparing, were doing nothing but blocking me from the truth – we all have innate love, wisdom, and wellbeing. It’s our birthright.

What stories are you telling yourself?

Love and blessings,