Author Archives: Davida

Feeling Haunted By Your Past?

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Halloween festivities are in full swing today! Along the line of the theme of ghosts, goblins, and fright, are you feeling haunted by your past? You don’t have to continue to be. The past only exists in our memories, and our memories are just thoughts.

Haunting feelings like guilt, regret, shame, and disappointment are not telling you anything about yourself or your future. Our feelings only tell us about what we are thinking about in the moment. That’s all they can do. They have no power over us.

Do you want to be free of your past? Stop focusing on it and giving it your attention! Just because you have thoughts about your past does not mean you have to focus on them or believe them. It just means your mind is doing what it was created to do – thinking!

Love & blessings,
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Your Turn-Around-Moment

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The number 3, and the message that we have the power to change our story, has been coming up frequently for me lately, so I’m listening and putting them together.

Your turn-around-moment could come in 1 conversation, but what if you had 3? I have a big birthday coming up next month. It’s the big 3-9! For the last birthday in the decade of my 30’s, I am offering 3 women the opportunity to change their story with 3 one-to-one coaching sessions, within a 30-day period, for $390.

Who this offer is for:

  • You want to see a positive change, or a turn-around-moment in your life, but you feel stuck
  • You are motivated to achieve a goal or change your story, but you don’t know where to start
  • You feel a lot of stress, anxiety, and worry, and it seems like it’s preventing you from feeling happy or achieving goals
  • You want to know how to equip yourself to better handle low feelings, hard times, and difficult circumstances and situations
  • You are truly serious about making the change you want for your life

Does this speak to you? Do you want to explore creating the change you want to see in your life through one-on-one coaching? If so, contact me and we’ll go from there.
Love & blessings,
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How to Control Our Thoughts


We control what we do with our thoughts. Our thoughts don’t control us.

How are you using your thoughts? Understanding the thought-feeling connection is key. For every thought we have, it’s our responsibility to question it and decide if it’s a thought to (1) believe, (2) act on, or (3) just let pass away.

Love & blessings,

Academic Coaching = Stellar Students!

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As we are knocking on summer’s door to open, we are moving towards closing the door on this school year. As you reflect over the year, how do you feel about your child’s academic achievement? How would you like the next school year to be for your student or another student that is near and dear to your heart?

It’s not too early to help your child prepare for her next school year! Academic coaching could help your daughter enhance her overall academic performance, improve her study skills and grades, develop positive life skills, and bring out the leader within her.

Coaching spots are open for young ladies who are ready to become stellar students! Email me at davida@davidaiarnold.com for more information or to schedule a complimentary consultation.

Love & blessings,
Davida

The Truth About Controlling Our Thoughts

 

I hear these statements so many times: “I need to control my thinking” and “I need to control my thoughts.” If you’ve said either of these too, don’t worry. They’ve both come out of my mouth before too. But, I’ve learned the truth and now share it with my clients – we cannot control our thinking and what thoughts we have. Was reading that a shock to you? It was to me the first time I realized it.

If you’re still reading this, hang in there with me because there is more to it. We were created with the ability to think. Having thoughts is just what we do as humans, so that’s why we can’t control our thinking. It’s just not our job. Trying to control our thinking and our thoughts is like trying to control the weather. But here’s what we can do: we can choose which thoughts we believe and act on. Paying attention to our thoughts is truly optional. Just because we have a thought does not mean that we have to pay attention to it, believe it, or act on it. A thought can just be there, hanging out in the space of our mind. When we do not give it attention, the thought will pass away. That’s just what thoughts do. That’s their job. We also have the gift of consciousness, our awareness of our thoughts. That’s what makes our thoughts seem like they are real and like we “have to” believe and act on them. But, we don’t have to. Try saying that to yourself, “I don’t have to.”

I think what makes it easy for us to believe that we need to control our thinking is our feelings and misunderstanding where our feelings really come from. Our feelings are only our responses to the thoughts we’re having in the moment. That’s it. Our feelings do not tell us anything about ourselves, past, present, or future, nor are they caused by our circumstances and situations. Our feelings are only telling us about the thoughts we’re having. That’s why trying to change things so that we feel differently does not work. We don’t feel the situations we experience. We’re only, and always, just feeling the thoughts we are having about the situations we experience.

Love & blessings,

Change Can Come at Any Moment

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While my children were on their holiday break I didn’t drive past my daughter’s school. Across the street from her school a Dunkin Donuts is being built (As a coffee lover, let me pause and share my extreme excitement about this. YES!!) Before the break the area was flat. The work of building was going on, but there was no standing structure. Well, upon our return to school I noticed, to my amazement, that the building is in place! And, this lead to a major insight, so I snapped this picture to remind me and to share with you. Just like how this building was not there one day and then suddenly there just two weeks later, God can do the same thing in our personal lives. Whatever it is that you may be going through, just hold on to Him and don’t give up. Change can come at any moment. God is the infinite source of wisdom and intelligence behind life. Which means that same power is present and moving in your life too!

Love & blessings,
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2015 —> 2016

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As 2015 comes to a close, I’m reflecting over the year and looking forward to 2016. Thank you for being in community with me! I’m so grateful that you’ve shared your time with me by reading my posts, sharing a comment, sending me an email, or joining me in a coaching conversation. Thank you! As always, if I can be of more service to you, please let me know. I wish you many blessings in 2016!

With love,

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A Great Reminder

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I can’t believe that Christmas and New Year’s Day are almost here. How is your holiday season going so far? Are you still preparing (like me) or are you finished? This morning I was feeling overwhelmed, pressed for time, frustrated, and my behavior showed irritation. Then came feeling bad for how I was feeling. Can you relate?

Well, these words came back to mind, and it was a great reminder: Be gentle to yourself. Things happen. Life happens. Mistakes happen. Accidents happen. Sometimes it can be easy to be hard on ourselves. But, showing yourself love, care, and grace is always important and necessary.

So, during this week of what may be a busy time for many of us, with all that you may have to do, I thought I would share this helpful tip with all of you: Be gentle to yourself.

What is one way that you can intentionally show yourself some love this week?

4 Tips to Create Achievable 2016 Resolutions

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2015 is quickly coming to a close. What are your thoughts about creating New Year’s Resolutions? How do they help you?

If you do create resolutions for your upcoming year, here are 4 short reflection questions to help you create resolutions that you will achieve. Take some time for yourself, go into a quiet space, and answer these questions for yourself:

  1. What do you want?

Let’s say you and I are having a conversation on December 31, 2016, and you are reflecting over your year, what has to have happened in your life for you to feel satisfied with how your year progressed? This is your life and your list. Write down everything, and anything, you want.

  1. How will achieving what you listed change your life?

The resolutions that we put on our list should have real meaning for us. Is it is something that you really want to do for yourself? Also, if it is on your list so you can fill in this blank, “I’ll be happy when _______, ” that is a sign that it should not be on your list. Our happiness does not come from outside of us.

  1. What are your options?

This is a question that is easily overlooked. Sometimes it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. For everything that you now have on your list, what options are available for achieving it? Make a list, and when you think you’ve thought of all of your options, go back and reflect on it again. For every option that you list, what resources are available?

  1. What’s really holding you back?

For every answer that comes up for you, go back to reflection question 3. Many of the things that we think are holding us back seem to go away when we look at our options.  Now, for everything that is left, avoidance doesn’t make things go away.  It’s only when we face things are we able to conquer them. So, this question is about being honest with yourself.  What obstacles are you allowing to be in your way?

I’d love to know what comes up for you after you create your resolutions. Or, if you’d like some support in creating them, send me an email and we’ll talk.

Also, what topics would you like for me to cover in future posts?

Love & blessings,
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