Author Archives: Davida

Honoring My Grandmother

The picture above is of my beloved grandmother and myself. She and I were “best, best girlfriends.” I can still hear her voice calling me that, and it warms my heart. I was blessed to live with my grandmother while I was growing up, and now, as an adult, I am still benefiting from her wisdom. I’m thinking about her even more this week because July 11th would have been my grandmother’s 101st birthday.

One of the things my grandmother would say to me a lot was, “You’re sitting on a million bucks and don’t even know it.” Those words have stuck with me for years. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand what she was trying to teach me until after her death. You see, it took me years, and many mistakes, to see for myself that I already had the ability and capability inside me to succeed at whatever I set my mind to. I believed my fears and negative thoughts. This stunted my relationship with myself and affected my relationships with others. Basically, I wasn’t living up to my God-given potential. My grandmother saw it, and thankfully I woke up to it as well.

I’m so grateful to her for her support. In essence, she was one of my first life coaches. And, best of all her, my personal growth is benefiting my children because it’s helping me to parent better. In honor of my grandmother’s birthday, I am offering a package of 3 coaching sessions for $101 for mothers of elementary, middle, or high school aged children who want some support in fulfilling their God-given potential so they can better be there for their children. I’d like to ask for your help in getting the word out. I’d love to help as many people as I can. Who do you know who is mom struggling to see her potential right now? Who do you know who’s stuck dealing with emotional, relationship, or job issues, feeling trapped and needing help figuring it out? I’m not asking for any contact information. I ask that you share this offer with whoever comes to mind for you and ask them to email me. The sign-up period for this offer is until July 31, 2017. Thank you!

Love & blessings,

Where does freedom really come from?

Today we celebrate our independence as a nation here in the United States. At the same time, so many of its citizens do not feel entirely free. Many people in this “land of the free” are persecuted and discriminated against for many reasons – skin color, gender, financial status, education level, sexual orientation, past mistakes, and more. We’re free, but not really free? That’s a misunderstanding for sure. So, where does freedom really come from? In order to clear up the misunderstanding on the outside, we have to start with clearing up the misunderstanding on the inside. We’re free not because of what people say or determine for us. And, neither do our physical circumstances determine our freedom. Our freedom comes from within.

Love & blessings,

My Kids and My Thoughts

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, along with feeling overwhelmed and frustrated at times. School is out, so the kids are at home with me. Need I say more? My normal daily routine has changed. I still need to get done what I need to get done, but then there’s my kids’ requests (ok, my original word was demands) to play, and my quiet workspace has been overtaken by their laughter, loud arguments, and bouncing balls. Sometimes I feel like I just can’t get anything done. Can you relate to the struggle?

I could say more, but the most important thing I can say is that it’s all ok. Really? YES! I know that my feelings aren’t coming from my kids or from the changes to my routine and workspace. Sometimes I lose my bearings, and I just focus on the feelings of overwhelm and frustrations. Other times they don’t bother me as much. That’s just how life works. Our emotions normally go high and low. When we see that and that our experience (feelings) comes from thought, it frees us from trying to fix or control ourselves, others, or our circumstances.

We are connected to the Wisdom behind life. And, as Luke 1:37 tells us, “For nothing will be impossible with God.”‬ That’s a fact of life that helps me through it all. Whatever it is I need, whatever I need to get done, God is always there supporting and guiding. When I just go to Him, instead of letting my negative thoughts guide me, I get the answers that I need. But, we can block ourselves off from hearing Wisdom when we get caught up in our thinking, believing that our experience is coming from something other than thought.

Love & blessings,

Which Thoughts to Use?

“Each day in our life we have probably thousands and thousands of thoughts going through our head. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are positive. Some are negative. Now, this is where your free will comes in. You have the free will to use whichever thoughts you want to. That’s quite different. Now, if you have a bad thought, you don’t always act on it. It’d be a terrible life if everybody acted on their bad thoughts. You just ignore them, and you act on the good thoughts.” – Sydney Banks

Equipped By Design

Whatever situation or circumstance we face, we are equipped by design to handle it. The same Wisdom that’s behind life is within each and everyone of us, always speaking to us and guiding us. The only thing that blocks us from seeing it is thought.

We live in a thought generated reality, so what we think is what we see. Whenever we think we can’t handle something, that’s a made up illusion through thought. Fear, stress, worry, those are all made up too. Our feelings don’t come from anything outside of us. They come through thought. When we think that our experiences, our feelings, are being created from the outside-in, that is what trips us up.

Love & blessings,

“How Do You Do It?”

I have experienced, and still do, many challenges with raising four kids. Some days it feels easier than others. Many times I get asked, “How do you do it?” My answer is that I’ve learned a lot along the way. Understanding the inside-out nature of life has helped me to make a positive shift in my parenting and a transformation in my life. To share it in a nutshell, we all are connected to the Intelligence behind life so we always have access to Wisdom, we were created with the power to think, and it’s our awareness of our thinking that makes our thoughts come alive. Pointing myself back to that has decreased a lot of my struggles. I used to think that my kids’ behavior was what was making me feel so mad and irritated all the time. So, I thought that I needed to control them so their behavior would change and I would feel better. It didn’t work!

When I really understood that my feelings were not being created from something outside of my power to think and that our feelings naturally fluctuate as our thoughts change, that’s when things changed in my life. If I had to sum it up in one word it would be liberating. I realized that trying to control my kids, my thinking, or anything else to change how I’m feeling is not my job to do. It’s the same thing for all of us.

Love & blessings,

Feelings Are Valid and Neutral

Have you ever felt an uncomfortable feeling in response to doing, or attempting to do, something different or unknown? I have! And, to be honest, I still do sometimes. It’s not always an enjoyable experience. In fact, it can feel awful. But, I’ve learned an important lesson about it: feeling uncomfortable about an action we took or waiting for the uncomfortable to go away before we take action is not necessary. Here’s why: the uncomfortable feeling is only telling us about our thoughts in the moment. The uncomfortable feeling is not telling us anything about what we have already done or about whether or not we should take action. Feelings are valid and neutral. Our feelings only mean what we THINK they mean. If we decide to wait until we feel like doing something, or until we feel comfortable, we could be waiting for a long time. And, where does that leave us? Feeling stuck! What action are you not taking and need some support with?

Love & blessings,

Bubbles

 

It’s a little chilly down here in south Florida today. I know it’s not cold like it is up north, but for us it’s colder than we’re used to. So, I got out my jacket this morning. As I was walking to a meeting I was reflecting over yesterday. I had a lot on my mind about what I could have said, what I could have done differently, and looking at where I thought I messed up. To be honest, I was feeling a little sad. And, then I felt something hard in my jacket pocket. I put my hand in and pulled out two small bottles of bubbles. Yes, bubbles! I must have agreed to hold them for my kids one day and didn’t give them back to them. Suddenly, I started laughing. One moment I’m feeling down in the dumps and then the next moment I’m feeling joy.

This moment was a perfect reminder to me of the fleeting nature of thought and what was really causing my feelings. It’s true, I probably could have done or said things differently yesterday. I probably did make some mistakes yesterday. But, those things were not causing me to feel sad. Thinking about them was creating my sad feeling. Then when I saw the bubbles, my thoughts changed and my feeling changed. It’s just how life works. Sometimes we see it, and sometimes we don’t. And, both are ok.

Love & blessings,

Don’t Be Afraid

This is from one of my favorite passages of scripture. The king of Aram was mad at Elisha and sent his troops to capture Elisha. He didn’t send just a few people after him, he sent troops! So, the next morning one of Elisha’s servants went outside and saw all of the troops around them, and he fearfully asked Elisha, “What will we do now?” And, this scripture is Elisha’s response.

Notice Elisha did not tell him not to feel afraid, he said “Don’t be afraid.” There is a difference between feeling and being. Just because we have a feeling, it doesn’t make us that feeling. Our feelings are just our responses to our thoughts in the moment. That’s all. Our feelings don’t tell us about who we are (our being) or about anything else. It just seems like they do. Think about this. In Genesis 1:31, God calls all he created good. We are His creation, so we are innately good. Now, if we have negative feelings about ourselves, does that mean that God’s word is void and that we are not good? No, it just means that we have had some negative thinking.

So, Elisha is reminding his servant not to believe his fear means anything about who he is and to look past the troops and see what is still true. We also have innate security. God’s got our backs all of the time! Not some of the time. All of the time, no matter what troops you are facing in your life! The only time it seems like it’s not true is if we are believing that what’s we’re facing is more powerful than God. What it comes down to is this: we are either believing God is with us or we’re not. So, what are you believing? Are you believing in your fears, or are you believing that God’s got your back?

Love & blessings,